This week I have decided to write a blog about my own gratitude for those in my life this week. I first want to apologize for those of you who were looking for a Friday post and there was none. I went into the hospital on May 22 and didn't come out for 8 days. I was in for mental health issues because suicidal thoughts wouldn't go away and I didn't want to hurt those around me by taking myself out of this world. I cared too much about other people and not enough of myself. I was at a point where I hated God, life and myself. NOT a place I liked to be at and nor do I ever want to return there again.
First person I am grateful for is my NA sponsor. He asked me what was wrong and I ended up telling him. He had me call people/places after the meeting. He didn't leave me and even took me up to the hospital so I could check myself in even though I didn't really want to.
Second person I am grateful for is my certified recovery specialist. She immediately texted me back when I said I was suffering from those thoughts and thinking about going into the hospital. She said dont think just go. Boy am I grateful for her.
Third person I am grateful for is my big brother Sam. He let me call him every single day while I was in. He was there for me even in the middle of his own issues.
I am grateful for everyone else in my life too. Each and everyone in my life that has been there for me saved my life on May 22nd. I am here because of your love and care and concern. People closest to me in my life literally grabbed a hold of me and carried me to safety.... Well not "literally" but hopefully you all know what I mean. As the quote above says, we may have a small heart but we can hold a lot of gratitude in that place.
What are you holding in your heart? Is it gratitude or complaining? If it is complaining, think of one positive thing you are glad for in your life! If you are flowing with gratitude, how about showing that gratitude for that thing or person in your life. I know that I will be more mindful of those around me who pour into my life and care about me.