A clean heart create for me, God;
renew in me a steadfast spirit.
Do not drive me from your presence,
nor take from me your holy spirit.
Restore my joy in your salvation;
sustain in me a willing spirit.
-from Psalm 51
I am caught by “restore my joy in your salvation.” The psalmist is asking for a lot here, don’t you think? Restored joy AND restored joy and faith in God’s salvation. It begs the question, “What is God’s salvation?”
Sometimes I have doubts whether I’m Methodist enough or Christian enough to go through this entire ordination process. I have no doubts about who I am and what I believe—my doubts are about whether the system can handle it and find a place for me. If feels, sometimes, like compromise to stay within the system. That concerns me.
what price must be paid?
what stand must be sold?
what child must be sacrificed?
how can I possibly
make this payment
Random thought: The movie “The Princess Bride” <3 -- “Boo—you had true love.”
just a little. my
i feel the tug
of a bad country
me for my
Not happy thoughts this morning. These stirrings align with Christine’s thoughts: “They [demons] show up as voices inside of us undermining or confusing us with their conflicting desires. Often it is because we want to resist them so strongly we never get a chance to hear what wisdom they might offer to us.” Ugh.