Tuesday, September 29
Shadow

The Price of Hate

From Karen Coverett at recreatingmyworld.wordpress.com
Reposted with permission
The Price of Hate
I wanted to do this

In my own time
To wait until I was ready
Until I had the answers
Rather than questions
I’m still asking myself

I wanted to do this
When I felt secure
To wait until I’d talked
With those I owe
Deep levels of trust
To share face to face
Or at least Skype to Skype

I wanted to do this
After I’d told my family
To wait until the perfect moment
Had revealed itself
And I was ready for
Every potential response

I wanted to do this
When I knew how to explain
Forty years of truth
Buried so deep
All I knew was brokenness

There is an awkwardness in
Maintaining silence
My safety net of procrastination
Wrapped tightly
Trying to contain the
Chaos of rediscovery

But something happened

Ten thousand children
Thrown away
And my silence feels like complicity
My safety net of waiting
Feels wrapped around my throat
Taking away my breath
Cutting off the words I ache to speak

There is no right time
I may never be ready
I may never be able to explain
There is only the moment now
And in this moment
My safety net must unravel
Else I lose the ability to speak

Heart broken

Ten thousand children
That’s how much some people hate
People who also claim belief in a god
Whose very scriptures teach
Love your neighbour as yourself
Care for orphans and widows
In their distress

Ten thousand children
Starving and in need
Support ripped out from
Under their precious lives
An act of hate
Called righteousness
In the name of protecting
Orthodoxy
From the scourge
Of homosexuality

How can people
Called to be like the god they claim
Who has named himself Love
Hate us at such a price to
Ten thousand children

Tears fall as words flow
Years of learning
Straight was right
Queer was sin
My heart breaks
Am I the only one
Who feels the stab of
Soul-crushing guilt
As if my existence
Is somehow to blame for
Ten thousand children
Dropped in a heartbeat of hatred
When one organization
Makes the tiniest movement
Towards acknowledging our rights
As human beings
Created in the image
Of the divine

This is also the price of hate
But unlike ten thousand children
I have a choice
I will not pay their price
I will not take on that guilt
Being queer does not
Equal broken
Nor does it mean excluded
From the faith of my childhood

I will stand up
I will proudly claim my truth
I will meet their fear
With love
For myself
For the world around me
Even for those who hate
Together may we stand in the gap
For ten thousand innocent children

—–

truth

If you haven’t heard about what happened that caused ten thousand children to lose their sponsors through World Vision in the United States because a powerful group of people who call themselves Christians decided fighting against gay rights was more important than caring for the most vulnerable among us, you can read the details herehere or here, just to point you to a few.

I already sponsor a child through Compassion Canada whom I plan to continue sponsoring until she ages out of the program. I am pondering sponsoring another child through World Vision Canada which follows Canadian laws regarding non-discrimination.

You’re also welcome to visit my other online home at Poeming Out where this will also be posted.

2 Comments

  • I hate to say it, but I thnk, realistically, we’re going to have to expect more of this kind of over-the-top fanaticism from conservatives, irrespective of religious persuasion, as the trend continues to favor gay rights & gay marriage, both in courts of law & in the “court” of public opinion. As more & more people, especially young people, become more & more accepting of LGBTQ people & supportive of their rights, conservatives are increasingly desperate & cornered. A common reaction of people — really all organisms — who find themselves cornered is to turn & “fight dirty”. I think that’s what we’re seeing with the WV turn-around: the conservative / right-wing Christian community resorting to desperate tactics. Driven by desperation, they stop caring about the kids & just want to “win” in order to preserve their own power & self-regard.

    Interesting question to reflect on: what can progressives, both religious & “non”, do to show compassion to conservatives, who are seeing an important part of their worldview discredited & marginalized? If we react to them ONLY with animus & condescension, we are reacting to conservatives the way they are reacting to the “10,000 children”. EVERYone needs compassion, even those with whom one disagrees & finds most disagreeable.

    • Everyone does need compassion. But I also need to draw boundaries to keep me and my family safe. And most of the time, that boundary leaves the hyper conservative out of my compassionate circle.

      I hear a lot, especially in church circles, about listening and being with my conservative brother and sister and loving them regardless. That by excluding them, I am becoming like them. I would like to call bull pucky on that logic. I would not accept a slaver in my midst. I will not accept a person who helps write those horrible laws that allow discrimination.

      To me that is the real edge — how can I maintain a sense of “this is wrong” and be compassionate but firmly put the offending party outside of the boundary of acceptable behavior in my midst.

      I’m sure I could have said it all much much better. :-/

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