This week has been a struggle to sift through finance commitments. That is never a truly fun experience. But, upon reflection, I can see the grace in seeing where our money goes and what we are doing with it. And what we want vs. what we need. Or even more, when do we have enough?
There are some strange parables about managing money out there. There is the story of the widow's mite where a woman gives her two mites in support of the Temple, exemplifying sacrificial giving. Not so strange. But that is in the same writings that the story of the Good Manager is in. The Good Manager is a money-manager for a rich man. He takes the rich man's money and does a bad job managing the money. He is about to be let go and apparently has a deadline. I imagine, "You have two months to shape this up and then you are gone!"
Well, the money manager sees that he is about to get the boot so he goes out to all the people that owe the rich man money and cuts deals with them. Pennies on the dollar! His thought process is, "At least the people will welcome me back." Then, the rich man is impressed by the money manager and encourages him to stay. See. Weird.
How can we find grace in money management? Where can we see life?
So I was going through my finances with my dear husband, and worrying about this and that. But I still wanted a new bowling ball. Why? I am told that my ball is very old and has lost all the reactive cover action. And that it will take my bowling to the next level. Ooo...aaah...the next level! Better bowling! More success! I want it now!!! Unfortunately, I tucked this desire away in favor of more practical concerns, but the desire is still there. More better bowling ball!!!!
Then I read this today:
Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.
This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
David Whyte, Where Many Rivers Meet
And I knew, I knew. I had forgotten enough. I am a good bowler with the equipment I have. I can nurture the gifts of others with the skills that I have.
I am enough.
Why? Because I was created to be who I am and to walk the path that I am walking. That is enough. And again, enough. I just need to stay awake to that.
To what have you been awake to this week? Where is enough?