Hugs from a Dead Mom

empty and full
lost and present
tenuous and tight
despair and hope
sadness and joy
anger and love

how can i possibly let go
let the reality of your absence
exist simultaneously with
the memory of your presence?
the memory wars with
the longing to capture a
non-existent conversation
counseling on the wisdom
of raising children or of entering
a woman’s life of another phase.
when all i want to do is
yell, “where are you?”

sometimes it seems that
my thoughts of you are
as flighty as remembrances
of a fairy floating by.
questioning the reality of
the situation and wondering
who you really were.
a fairy princess viewed through
a child’s eyes or a woman of
depth, a mother, a wife, an
employee, a lover.  but you are
forever immortalized as a fairy
who flits in and out of
our lives as memories surface
and abate as the reality of you
becomes more distant with time.

be one with the universe,
be one with god. 
be one with love and joy. 
be one with my heart and with the
hearts of those you loved and
who loved you. 

live on fairy queen.

Categories: Spirituality

One comment

  1. rhonda said on August 10, 2009
    Oh honey --this is so emotional! It is hard to be without a mom.

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