Wednesday, June 16

Gratitude Is Hard Sometimes

(Image credit: Faith Counts)

I found myself struggling with what to write for this weeks blog because I've had a week from the pits of hell. I am sure if I dug extremely deep within that I'd be able to find something to be grateful for. But quite honestly I am struggling to come up with anything positive or encouraging to say about gratitude. I just lost two friends to the disease of addiction, one of whom I live with, all within the matter of FOUR DAYS!

Right now I'd lie if I said gratitude filled my heart. Anger, hatred, grief, sadness, and disbelief are what comes to mind that fill my heart. Two lives in their prime, 26 & 27, were prematurely snuffed out. Yes I have thankfulness for the very many blessings but right now gratitude eludes me completely. The struggle to remain grateful amidst the stuff life throws at us can be a truly daunting task. Life just sometimes sucks the very breathe out of life.

Even as I write this, I have a lot I should be able to show gratitude for (an iPad to type this on, wifi connection to get on the Internet, and music playing in the background). But the most powerful thing in my life is grief. That powerful, complex emotion has been crippling and brought me to my knees. Please know that gratitude is sometimes going to be the most difficult thing you will have to express. Gratitude costs and rent is due everyday.

I'm asking that you chose to be deliberately grateful, even when the cost is high. What are grateful for when the world around you seems to be crashing down around you? For me it's been my friends who have been checking in on me on a daily basis since my first friends death. Without them, I wouldn't be able to deal with it all.


Brian Lee

Leave a Reply