Feast Day in the Lenten Journey

Ugh.  Today's scripture is the story of Jesus in the desert from Luke 4:1-13.  It is ironic that this was chosen for today's reading because I chose it for a reading on Thursday, except the Matthew version!  Along with the reading came a request to notice what is stirring up in us.  Well, I dreamed a dream last night...sigh.  It is a clear indication of what is stirred up in me.  So I meditated on my dream instead since I already did lectio on the desert scripture.  

Meditation of Jesus in the desert

As Jesus was in the desert, the Matthew version says, "He was hungry."  It is an unfamiliar image to view Jesus as hungry.  Conclusion?  Jesus was hungry, therefore, God wants.

How can a perfect being want?  If perfect, would God not be complete?  If complete, would God then need nothing?  If God needs nothing, how can God want?  God can want if God is in you and me.  Because we want, God wants.

Random thoughts:

...Hello, my name is Andrea and I'm an alcoholic.  Want.  Want replacing need.  Or as someone said yesterday.  Stapling their attachment to their ego.

...He stoops to see the leaves growing on the shoot not yet knee high.  Will there be a harvest?

The world wants

the eagle wants a perch
the salmon wants a river
the wave wants a shore
the man wants a war
the child wants a peace
the Abba wants shalom

© 2010, T. Stewart

...

War...hunger...poverty...pain...all about want.

My job is to want on your behalf.

Caution...the below has graphic language (well, for me it does!)

And then there is the stupid dream I had last night which ties in nicely or not, depending on your perspective.  In a mall type place with a couple friends including Molly.  We went through the mall and one of the friends needed to check her schedule at University of Phoenix which was located in the mall.  We found the place and it was crazy busy.  They were having a photo shoot (?).  Then we wandered around backstage and saw a group preparing for an auction.  Amongst the stuff up for auction were items clearly identifiable as being from my father's house.  I expressed the idea of, "I can't believe he would see this without checking in.  Ass.  And lo, there was my father.  Overhearing every comment.  I turned to him and said, "I just want to feel like I matter."  And I left.  Molly stayed with my dad and talked to him.  He said, "I'll do anything except that."  (I think that means leave Peggy.)  Molly found me and told me.  I said "Doesn't he know I'd never ask him to do that?"

End scene

So isn't this what we all want?  To matter?  Deep down?  Isn't that the source of our wants...healthy and unhealthy?  No matter how deep we are in the desert or how far out on the margins of society or how centered in the power structures?  We want.  God wants. 

Random thought #2:  This dream is a clear articulation of why I stick up for the underdog.  It is the shadow side of justice fighting. 

Creative response:

you sold my legacy
to the highest bidder
or perhaps
conceit
to whomever would
buy the damn
thing.

guess what?
you lose.
it was your
legacy
too.

shit.
we both
lost.

© 2010, T. Stewart

Categories: Spirituality

One comment

  1. Beth said on February 22, 2010
    Dear Terri--I don't know the players, but it sure sounds like your dream is bringing up great 'fodder' for the journey! I like your blog--found it through Christine, as part of the bloggers-who-write-about-their-Lent-journey stable!

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