Author: Brian Kleber

33 year old transgender nonbinary United Methodist who is an addict in recovery. I live in the Pittsburgh, PA area.

Recovery Isn’t A Race

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Photo Credit: Healthy Place "Recovery isn't a race. You don't have to feel guilty if it takes you longer than you thought it would."Lately no matter how hard I've tried I feel like I'm at a stale mate when it comes to my recovery and my treatment. I feel guilty that I'm not further along than what I am. I forget that I've only got about 2 months and 3 weeks clean. I should be more gentle with myself and practice the self-care that I preach to all my friends going through difficult times.Recovery isn't all peaches and cream! It is in fact some of the hardest and most grueling work one person can undertake. Recently my mental health has taken a nose dive. My bipolar depression has decided to kick itself into overdrive... not even the mania portion either (i'm more equipped to deal with t...

Beauty in Dark Times

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Photo credit: Brian Lee I sit and write this blog again early Friday morning. A little while ago, I walked down to a local gas station to get some pop and it was dark out. But amidst the darkness - I walked past this beautiful tree with budding purple flowers. Beauty springing forth not only the darkness of winter but the darkness of night. This was a reminder from the Sacred, the Divine that beauty can spring forth in the darkness of a soul. Right now I’m struggling on so many fronts that it isn’t even funny. I feel like I’m being attacked on all sides. Specially my fight against my addiction. While I’m 2 1/2 months clean from drugs, my disease remains active in many other ways. I’m always in some form of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) lately. Mainly tired and lonely. I try

Gratitude During Hard Times

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As I type this blog post on my phone - Friday is almost over. I nearly had forgotten about what day it was! That has been my life lately as my mind is still healing from all I put it through recently. This Lenten journey has been a difficult one for me and yet I’ve experienced growth and stretching at a rate I’ve never experienced before. I have a wonderful tool that was given to me from enfleshed’s Director M Barclay. Every day I turn over a new card and read it and reflect on it throughout the day. This new practice has been nurturing my wounded and hurting spirit ever since I learned of how the Special General Conference went for my denomination. This Lenten journey will end on Easter Sunday, which just so happens to be my pastor’s last day at our church. She is taking a rene